New Plans For Blog

Usually, I toggle back and forth between the world of comedy and the world of politics in my blogs. Well, I need more views, so I've decided that instead of just comedy, I will do a funny top ten list.

Top Ten Time Wasting TV Shows And How They Keep You Entranced

NOTE: this is my personal opinion. You can agree or disagree. I don't really care.

10. Court TV- Any court tv show can keep you entranced simply by making you want to know the ruling, and often it is not as exciting as you expected.

9. Comedians: Even if they aren't very good, we still watch and wait for them to get better

8. The Steve Wilkos Show: While I love this show, if you think about it, all you are doing is watching a bunch of people argue over the results of either a DNA or a lie detector test. But, although this show is similar to the next to shows, I still think some of the cases on this show are more intresting

7. The Jerry Springer Show- Wow. Do I really have to say anything?

6. The Maury Show- At least the Jerry Springer show is diverse. 99% of the time, all Maury shows are about the results of DNA tests. Although, to his credit, Maury is nicer to his guests than some other talk show hosts.

5. Celebrity News- Whichever show you watch, next time you watch it, ask yourself why you care.

4. Lifetime: Their movies suck, but any channel that shows movies most of the time is a good way to kill your whole day.

3. America's Next Top Model: IDK why, but a lot of people seem to like to spend a ton of time watching this.

2. The Harry Potter Movies- While they are my fav movies, if you want to kill time, watch one, they are about three hours long each

1. The News- You heard me right. The News. CNN. Fox. MSNBC. Have you ever just left the TV on and watched three cycles of the same headlines? Exactly.

I Have Trouble Thinking Of Titles...

I’d like to take a moment with you all to discuss a serious issue. Do you enjoy using the internet? If you answered “no”, then you’re lying, most likely. But, anyway, there’s a new serious threat to the world of internet usage. Google and Verizon are trying to make a deal that would force you to pay just to visit certain websites. They would control the entire web. This unfair, and violates net neutrality. It’s up to the FCC to stop them, but lately the FCC has been silent. So, an online petition has been started by freepress.net. Please sign. Thank you.

Sign The Petition Now! https://secure.freepress.net/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=356

"History does not teach fatalism. There are moments when the will of a handful of free men breaks through determinism and opens up new roads." ~Charles de Gaulle

More Complaints About Stuff You All Don't Care ABout :)

Okay, don't look now, but I'm really paranoid. There's this giant spider in the computer room. I don't want to scream. Well, I do, but I can't because its almost midnight and I dont want to wake my mom up. This thing is huge. It's over by the window.
Anyway, today we enter the wonderful world of packing! See, I've had to pack for a five day trip recently, and I've decided to vent my frustrations to you all. With packing, there's only one rule to remember. It'll never work out. Seriously. And here's the thing that got me. Our house is usually full of travel size crap lying around the house. We don't use it. It comes time for me to pack, and poof! all of it vanishes. It's like elves snuck in and stole it or something. Heck, it could have been the Keeblers. I keep trying to convince my mom that there's nothing normal about them. I mean come on! A ton of midget dudes living together in a tree baking cookies? Who thought of this?! now, my mom does insist that there's a girl elf, and i don't believe her, but if there is, did snow white shrink? 7 dwarfs, a million elves...what's the difference? The ears.

I DONT LIKE BUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. Now, I know that you are going to think that I am some kind of girly prep. I'm not. But, I fear insects with the very fiber of my being. And, to make matters worse, there is a simple principal rule with insects. The more afraid of them you are, the more they flock to you. Which is bad news for the people like me, who would appreaciate it if bugs would stay outside, where they belong. Sadly, this dream can never come true. I'm running out of ideas for blogs, obviously.

Political Satire

The problem with America today (well, one of the problems with America today) is that ppl don't vote. Not that they don't get out to the polls, I have no problem with that. If you don't have an opinion or enough information to make an informed decision, then please, by all means stay at home. What I mean is that the people who do get out to the polls. Now you may be thinking, wait a minute, those are the ones who actually do get out there and vote. And you're right. But do they really vote for the person they think will best represent them? Or do they automatically rule out one candidate or another simply because of the political party in which they place their membership? We need to get away from voting for the party. It's dangerous and unfair. We need to vote for the person we think best represents what we believe in, regardless of their affiliation. If we can't do that, then democracy fails.

Peanut Butter Cookies Recipe

Peanut Butter Cookies. We all love them. Well, I couldn’t sleep last night so I got to thinking. What would be the ultimate peanut butter cookie recipe? So, here you go:

You will need (quantity not specified. It all depends on how many you want to make):

1. Crunchy peanut butter

2. Marshmallows

3. Hershey’s chocolate

4. Sugar (*laughs evilly*)

5. Baking Equipment

Here’s what to do.

1. Melt the marshmallows and the chocolate (preferably not at the same time)

2. Combine all ingredients, mix well

3. Drop onto cookie sheet in small one inch circles (Idk if it needs to be greased or not, trust your instincts.)

4. Flatten with spoon or fork

5. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for five minutes. *

*= ovens vary. Please adjust times as needed.

Boredom Is The Mother Of Invention...and my writing.

Igloo is nice, and she really does mean well, but she doesn’t think before she speaks. (Igloo: Huh?) Actually, let me rephrase that, she doesn’t think period. So, being the kind-hearted, imaginary (yes, Igloo is a made up person, sorry ya’ll.) person that she is, she suggested we use our blog to have our voice heard on important issues. So, I guess technically you could say that I thought about it for a minute and then dismissed it…yeah, let’s just go back to pretending Igloo exists, it makes the blog much more humorous. (Igloo: YAY!) So, anyway, the reasons we don’t like to talk about important political issues on our blogs is that they ruin the comedy (or attempt at comedy anyway), and we don’t have enough views for our voice to really matter. Not only do I have a blog on Blogger, but I also have one on MySpace (which means I have to type the blog in Word and then copy and paste onto the website.) and on MySpace, I have gotten one comment. Out of nineteen posts, one comment. And, fifty-five total views. What’s 55 divided by 19? 2.89. Thank God they put calculators on computers! Anyway, that means I get two views per blog. That’s not worth being serious over!

So, that brings us to our non-serious topic! We all have heard that patience is a virtue. Well, not only that, but it is also a virtue that I severely lack! Now, we all get frustrated with computers. I don’t care if you graduated with a PhD in computer technology from MIT as a valedictorian in your class, and if you have the best computer in the world. At some point, you will want to punch your computer in the face. Which is never a good idea, because then you have to buy a new monster. Anyway, the biggest challenge you can ever face, is trying to teach someone over the age of fifty how to use the internet. Especially if the internet is slow. And if it took the guy a month to learn how to Google. You see, while I’m using millions of hyperboles in this blog post, I’m faced with any person with patience like mine’s (comparable to that of Hitler’s) worst nightmare. My dad just got internet at his house, and I have to teach him how to use it!