2012

You know what absolutely stuns me? How gullible we are. People will believe the most outrageous things, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, and yet refuse place an ounce of credibility among simple, logical statements, with overwhelming proof. It doesn't make any sense! For example, let's talk about 2012. This is very controversial topic, and I'd like to stress to my reader(s) that even if we disagree, I respect your beliefs, and if you would like to comment or email me to express them, please feel welcomed to do so. Now, however, I would like to express mine. There is plenty of evidence against the world ending on December 21, 2012. There is Biblical evidence, scientific evidence, and historical evidence. Since I am a Christian, I think we should start with the Biblical evidence. Here's a verse that talks about Jesus' return to Earth. Matthew 24:36 says: "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." (NIV). Alright. While that may be sufficient proof for the 2.1 billion Christians in the world, but what about the 1.1 billion atheists? Which brings us to our second area of proof, scientific. I will not bore you with the loads of scientific evidence that says that we will all still be here in 2013 and years to come. Although, if one is interested, this information is readily available on Google. I think it should suffice to say that if there were indeed a serious threat, scientists would have discovered it long before now and would begin trying to prevent it. Finally, historical evidence. Most of 2012 believers base their evidence on the Mayan long count calender's end. They claim that the end of this final cycle marks the end of the world. I say, "Grab a history book and a brain!" While they are correct of the calender's end, and that it symbolizes the end of an age, many of them are not actually familiar with Mayan culture. The Maya were a deeply spiritual people. Likely, this means not a literal physical end time, but instead a cultural new beginning, or rebirth. I am getting very off topic. Anyway, with all this evidence against 2012, you'd be amazed at just how many people believe in it. Come on! It's utterly scary how so many people can believe in this, and yet there are still people out there who claim that the holocaust never happened. How can a person believe in something that there is virtually no evidence for, yet in the same breath deny the existence of something that we know for a definite fact occurred. Wanna know something scarier? There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of 2012 survival groups out there. These are groups of people who are prepared to start a new civilization over from scratch. A daunting task, which prepares for an event that may not ever even happen, and is extraordinarily far fetched. Meanwhile, smoke detectors are easy to install, inexpensive to buy, and prepare you for an event that occurs 117 MILLION times a year. Yet, no one prepares for house fires. :(

The Great Snow Day Debate

Alright. Now, we all assume that kids love snow days. Actually, there's about a 48/48 split, with 2% indifferent or undecided. Some kids oppose snow days because you have to make them up, which takes off time from summer break. Others adore the snow. At this time on fancy blogs, they would present two expert opinions. Well, here at the Mishap Chronicles, we can't afford that. But, we turn now to our unexpert noncorrespondant, Moonlight, with his opinion as to why snow days just don't measure up! Hi, Moonlight. Mind telling us why you hate snow.
"Sure. You see, snow is terribly inconvenient for the adults. And, it extends the school year by a few days. We'd much rather be on summer break going on vacation and hanging out with our friends.Besides, most of us don't even play in the snow. It's waaay too cold!"
And now, for a counter opinion, we turn to Marshmallow, who's here to tell us why she thinks snow days are the greatest thing since hot cocoa!
"Thank you, Jessie. Now, my opponent, Moonlight, expressed the major concern of many students that summer vacation would be delayed. However, as many kids will inform you, summer vacation always gets boring after the first few weeks. Winter is near a change in semesters, and is a very stressful, strenuous time for students. We need a break. However, the last days of school are mostly wasted on busy work. And, one other important thing. You can only see snow in winter. Not during summer break."
Right. Well, domo arigato to both of you. Ciao! Now, if you want to see more about this issue go to http://vampyreangelprincess.glogster.com/snow-day-debate/ to see an online poster with the two sides and much much more! Also, tell me how you feel about snow days and why! Either email, or comment. The best answers will be featured in my next blog, and win a special prize!

My Best Buy Shopping Nightmare

I went to Best Buy on Black Friday. I know. I deserve a medal. But, anyway, I went, and put on my bravest face. They wouldn’t scare me! I would wait an eternity if I had to.
I did. I was there to buy an external DVD/CD R/W Drive, compatible with USB 2.0. For myself, of course. Everyone else’s gifts come from Dollar Tree. Anyway, this is in the computer section of Best Buy. Because it goes with your computer. And, this whole section was roped off. You had to wait in a line for forty five minutes and fill out a form just to look at the products you were going to buy. It sort of reminded me of rations in Communist Russia. Keep in mind, my dad and I had to stand in line for forty five minutes just minutes earlier at Staples to buy an external hard drive with.... 1TB of memory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay! Anyway, we stood in line. I was so tired. I thought about bribing someone to buy me coffee. So, we finally get to the end of the line, after nearly an hour, and we meet our guide who’s supposed to answer any questions we had. She asks us if we want a desktop, or a laptop. “Neither,” I reply, and proceed to tell her what it is we need in the most nerdish way possible to try to make myself sound smarticle. She does that thing people do when something is amiss and they just look at you and blink in amazement. She then informs us that we did not have to wait in that terrible line to begin with. As you can well imagine, I was not a happy camper. And, to top it all off, we had to keep telling people that we didn’t want a desktop. Or a laptop. That we just wanted to pay our thirty bucks and go home.
Now, before you say that this was my fault for shopping on Black Friday, believe me, I saved a ton of cash. And, although I know you don’t care, I’m going to tell you everything I got and the price :)

1. A printer for $30
2. An external hardrive with a terabyte of memory for $50
3. An external.... OH FORGET IT! The thingy mabobbit I waited in line for, $30
4. A blue purse from Claire’s (I wanted a different purse from Spencer’s, but they were sold out and I’m impatient) for....idk
5. A bracelet, hair pin, and earrings from Claires....again, IDK and IDC
6. Pink perfume and lotion combo from Victoria’s Secret for $15
7. Lovespell lotion, body mist, and bubble bath combo from Victoria’s Secret for $15



Also, I still have money left, and I plan on spending it today. Oh, and Claire’s and Victoria’s secret gave me a redeemable rewards mabobbit, so I’ll be going back there next weekend.

New Word

For words that are waaaaaaaaaay too long to say we have contractions. Do not = Don't, for example. So, why don't we have one for "shut up". Which really takes too long to say. So, I've come up with a solution. Shu'p. So, if you're gonna leave a stupid comment, just shu'p!

A Special Tribute

As most of you know, I'm not patriotic. Whatsoever. But, today is Veteran's Day and I'd like to take a moment to post a special blog to thank everybody who's served our country. Whether or not a person likes America should not matter. Either way, we should all be grateful to the men and women who were brave enough to risk their lives to keep us safe. After all, their courage and wisdom transcends international and political divides. So, do your job as a citizen today, and thank a soldier. Veterans and current soldiers, thank you.

Random...

They say that dreams magnify reality and sometimes tell the future. Well, that's awesome, because I had a dream that my teacher moved to South Africa!
On a more serious note, we just recently had elections. Now, the republicans won back the house, but never fear. I know people who have bomb shelters. Anyway, now, in the spirit of fall, a pumpkin is now speaker of the house. Now, my question is, if we get attacked, and he dies, will he turn into Jack Skelington? And, if he does, will he still be speaker of the house?
It's funny; they always have voting at schools. Seriously! In the mornings, you'll see people with signs telling you who to vote for, just lined up outside the school. I find it annoying.
Oh, and for everyone who's reading this and who I'm sure doesn't care....MOM AND I ADOPTED 2 CATS! That's right. They just showed up at our doorstep, and now we've put out food and a blanket for them. One of them is really outgoing, he's named Franz, after Archduke Ferdinand; and the other one is terrified of everyone, her name is Skittles! YAY!

Ponderings

Okay, well, no one has asked me questions, so I have to write about something off the top of my head again today. You know what doesn't make a bit of sense to me? How there is this whole big argument and time wasted on how we got here. What does it matter? We're here now! So, we should just live! We could use the time and energy that's invested in this argument on so many better, more important things. Like finding a cure for cancer, which would extend the time on Earth for many people. I really believe that it doesn't matter how we got here, its what we do while we're here that counts.

Announcement! :)

Okay. Another new blog plan. I'm really smart, right? No, wait, don't answer that. Just agree with me. So, anyway, My blog is now going to be answers to people's questions. So, yeah. Just email me with any question, and my next blog will have the answer! Oh, and make them appropriate. Please.

My Opinion Of High School

I don't know why everyone is so scared of High School. We kids aren't. But, some of the adults I talked to said it would be terrible. Other people said that Reidsville was a horrible school. I don't think either is true. Reidsville is a good school. Everyone is nice, and I only have one enemy. And High School is wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I love the freedom we have. It also seems more challenging. Looking back, I can't believe that I used to be terrified of going to high school. It's absolutely wonderful.

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Links

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Where Is Our Imagination?

Modern science leaves no room for imagination. We wonder why young children are so stressed out? Could it be that they have no escape? That they are forced to grow up too fast? Let's face it, kids aren't allowed to dream anymore.
For example, kids who talk to imaginary friends past a certain age are deemed lonely or psychologically imbalanced. Everyone wants their children to be perfect, and thus they pressure the kids beyond their limits. In school, kids of all ages are forced to take on adult roles. Rather than be permitted to believe in such creatures as dragons, children are not only quickly corrected, but often ridiculed. Not only is there so little room for creativity, but teachers often doubt their student's abilities. Fortunately, whenever this happened, my parents would go to the school and stand up for me.
There is a solution. While you have little control over others, make sure that you encourage every child you meet to be creative and express him/her self. Let kids be kids.

Is Education Affordable?

Today's topic is a political one. Can we afford to send our children to school. Now, while I'm certainly not suggesting that we stop sending our kids to school, I would like to point out that even public schooling has become ridiculously expensive. I just started high school, and already my parents spent sixty-five bucks on my first semester supplies, $108 on a graphing calculator, and now eighty dollars on a yearbook. But, let's be fair. Without extra stuff, the yearbook is only forty-five plus tax and handling. However, let's start with elementary school:

Total Amt Spent Per Year In Elementary Schools:$20-$60

Total Amt Spent Per Year In Middle School: $60-$100

Total Amt Spent Per Year In High School: $100-$300

Outrageous? It's true though. Tally up all the money you spend throughout your child's school year on their education. It is likely more. So, just how much is this from Pre-K to their Senior year? Take a nerve pill:

$720-$1920

New Plans For Blog

Usually, I toggle back and forth between the world of comedy and the world of politics in my blogs. Well, I need more views, so I've decided that instead of just comedy, I will do a funny top ten list.

Top Ten Time Wasting TV Shows And How They Keep You Entranced

NOTE: this is my personal opinion. You can agree or disagree. I don't really care.

10. Court TV- Any court tv show can keep you entranced simply by making you want to know the ruling, and often it is not as exciting as you expected.

9. Comedians: Even if they aren't very good, we still watch and wait for them to get better

8. The Steve Wilkos Show: While I love this show, if you think about it, all you are doing is watching a bunch of people argue over the results of either a DNA or a lie detector test. But, although this show is similar to the next to shows, I still think some of the cases on this show are more intresting

7. The Jerry Springer Show- Wow. Do I really have to say anything?

6. The Maury Show- At least the Jerry Springer show is diverse. 99% of the time, all Maury shows are about the results of DNA tests. Although, to his credit, Maury is nicer to his guests than some other talk show hosts.

5. Celebrity News- Whichever show you watch, next time you watch it, ask yourself why you care.

4. Lifetime: Their movies suck, but any channel that shows movies most of the time is a good way to kill your whole day.

3. America's Next Top Model: IDK why, but a lot of people seem to like to spend a ton of time watching this.

2. The Harry Potter Movies- While they are my fav movies, if you want to kill time, watch one, they are about three hours long each

1. The News- You heard me right. The News. CNN. Fox. MSNBC. Have you ever just left the TV on and watched three cycles of the same headlines? Exactly.

I Have Trouble Thinking Of Titles...

I’d like to take a moment with you all to discuss a serious issue. Do you enjoy using the internet? If you answered “no”, then you’re lying, most likely. But, anyway, there’s a new serious threat to the world of internet usage. Google and Verizon are trying to make a deal that would force you to pay just to visit certain websites. They would control the entire web. This unfair, and violates net neutrality. It’s up to the FCC to stop them, but lately the FCC has been silent. So, an online petition has been started by freepress.net. Please sign. Thank you.

Sign The Petition Now! https://secure.freepress.net/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=356

"History does not teach fatalism. There are moments when the will of a handful of free men breaks through determinism and opens up new roads." ~Charles de Gaulle

More Complaints About Stuff You All Don't Care ABout :)

Okay, don't look now, but I'm really paranoid. There's this giant spider in the computer room. I don't want to scream. Well, I do, but I can't because its almost midnight and I dont want to wake my mom up. This thing is huge. It's over by the window.
Anyway, today we enter the wonderful world of packing! See, I've had to pack for a five day trip recently, and I've decided to vent my frustrations to you all. With packing, there's only one rule to remember. It'll never work out. Seriously. And here's the thing that got me. Our house is usually full of travel size crap lying around the house. We don't use it. It comes time for me to pack, and poof! all of it vanishes. It's like elves snuck in and stole it or something. Heck, it could have been the Keeblers. I keep trying to convince my mom that there's nothing normal about them. I mean come on! A ton of midget dudes living together in a tree baking cookies? Who thought of this?! now, my mom does insist that there's a girl elf, and i don't believe her, but if there is, did snow white shrink? 7 dwarfs, a million elves...what's the difference? The ears.

I DONT LIKE BUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. Now, I know that you are going to think that I am some kind of girly prep. I'm not. But, I fear insects with the very fiber of my being. And, to make matters worse, there is a simple principal rule with insects. The more afraid of them you are, the more they flock to you. Which is bad news for the people like me, who would appreaciate it if bugs would stay outside, where they belong. Sadly, this dream can never come true. I'm running out of ideas for blogs, obviously.

Political Satire

The problem with America today (well, one of the problems with America today) is that ppl don't vote. Not that they don't get out to the polls, I have no problem with that. If you don't have an opinion or enough information to make an informed decision, then please, by all means stay at home. What I mean is that the people who do get out to the polls. Now you may be thinking, wait a minute, those are the ones who actually do get out there and vote. And you're right. But do they really vote for the person they think will best represent them? Or do they automatically rule out one candidate or another simply because of the political party in which they place their membership? We need to get away from voting for the party. It's dangerous and unfair. We need to vote for the person we think best represents what we believe in, regardless of their affiliation. If we can't do that, then democracy fails.

Peanut Butter Cookies Recipe

Peanut Butter Cookies. We all love them. Well, I couldn’t sleep last night so I got to thinking. What would be the ultimate peanut butter cookie recipe? So, here you go:

You will need (quantity not specified. It all depends on how many you want to make):

1. Crunchy peanut butter

2. Marshmallows

3. Hershey’s chocolate

4. Sugar (*laughs evilly*)

5. Baking Equipment

Here’s what to do.

1. Melt the marshmallows and the chocolate (preferably not at the same time)

2. Combine all ingredients, mix well

3. Drop onto cookie sheet in small one inch circles (Idk if it needs to be greased or not, trust your instincts.)

4. Flatten with spoon or fork

5. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for five minutes. *

*= ovens vary. Please adjust times as needed.

Boredom Is The Mother Of Invention...and my writing.

Igloo is nice, and she really does mean well, but she doesn’t think before she speaks. (Igloo: Huh?) Actually, let me rephrase that, she doesn’t think period. So, being the kind-hearted, imaginary (yes, Igloo is a made up person, sorry ya’ll.) person that she is, she suggested we use our blog to have our voice heard on important issues. So, I guess technically you could say that I thought about it for a minute and then dismissed it…yeah, let’s just go back to pretending Igloo exists, it makes the blog much more humorous. (Igloo: YAY!) So, anyway, the reasons we don’t like to talk about important political issues on our blogs is that they ruin the comedy (or attempt at comedy anyway), and we don’t have enough views for our voice to really matter. Not only do I have a blog on Blogger, but I also have one on MySpace (which means I have to type the blog in Word and then copy and paste onto the website.) and on MySpace, I have gotten one comment. Out of nineteen posts, one comment. And, fifty-five total views. What’s 55 divided by 19? 2.89. Thank God they put calculators on computers! Anyway, that means I get two views per blog. That’s not worth being serious over!

So, that brings us to our non-serious topic! We all have heard that patience is a virtue. Well, not only that, but it is also a virtue that I severely lack! Now, we all get frustrated with computers. I don’t care if you graduated with a PhD in computer technology from MIT as a valedictorian in your class, and if you have the best computer in the world. At some point, you will want to punch your computer in the face. Which is never a good idea, because then you have to buy a new monster. Anyway, the biggest challenge you can ever face, is trying to teach someone over the age of fifty how to use the internet. Especially if the internet is slow. And if it took the guy a month to learn how to Google. You see, while I’m using millions of hyperboles in this blog post, I’m faced with any person with patience like mine’s (comparable to that of Hitler’s) worst nightmare. My dad just got internet at his house, and I have to teach him how to use it!

The Cure For Boredom (There is none, I was just bored)

Are you bored? Because I sure am! (Igloo: And so am I! *sob* My brother broke my Justin Beiber CD!) Remind me to thank him. Anyway, summer is always disappointing. You sit there through 180 days of hell, just waiting for school to finally let out. And it does, and you're all excited. The next morning, you've run out of things to do online, and have gotten sick of Spongeboob reruns. (Igloo: I thought your mom was Spongebob?) There's a story there, but I don't really care to share it. Maybe some other time. Anyway, so what do you do? Simple. You go back to bed. Sleeping is the easiest way on Earth to waste time (next to Facebook) so go to sleep! And wake up at 11:00 at night when all the good comedy shows are on. Or infomercials. Who even watches infomercials? Seriously, who gets up at 3am to watch half an hour of advertising? Some old guy in a bathrobe in Chicago who's all alone with nothing better to do? All normal people hate commercials, unless they're in them. And if they're in them, then they're not normal, especially not if they talk to themselves in them. If you dont know who im talking about, turn on the tv. Anyway, why on Earth would you watch a half hour long commercial? Maybe the FBI uses infomercials to torture people...Hey, Igloo, come here ... (Igloo:*runs*)

Read My First Version at: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll#ixzz0rEWdnq84.

It All Begins

Hello and welcome to my new blog on blogger! Now, a few quick notes for those of you who haven't previously read my blog on myspace. My name is Jesse. My friend's name is Igloo. Her comments are in parentheses. I am nuts, or so my friends claim.
Today's blog is about how guys can never be perfect. Now, guys, we know you try, but it just doesn't work. See, whenever we girls want you to like us (Igloo: *cough cough*) *ignores*, you don't. But, whenever we (Igl: *cough cough cough*) Oh for God's sakes, Igloo, what is it? (I think that the guys should have an equal say in this). Anyway, whenever we don't want you to like us, you like us. We cant win!
Now, since Igloo is so passionate about this issue, let's let her speak *glares at Igloo and hands her the keyboard*. (Okay, well first of all, hey everybody, my name is Igloo, and I like unicorns. Now, while I don't like guys either...) *scoots away from her* (It's not their fault that they are confused. We girls need to step up and let them know whether or not we like them. By the way, I love butterscotch cookies and Brittney Spears!) Excuse me folks, I said I was nuts. Correction. Igloo is.